Abi is almost 4 weeks old! I would like to say that it is going by fast but it really isn't. Abi has Acid Reflux and is on medication. She was so miserable. It was so sad but I think the medication kicked in. So that is better but she started crying constantly when she isn't asleep and it is so hard to console her. I want to help her but I can't figure out what is wrong.
I am so sleep deprived. I try to sleep when she does but I can't. I'm going to just be honest. I am struggling. I would like to say that everything is so perfect and normally I only blog about the good things but I feel so drained and not myself. I get sick sometimes when the night comes because I know I am going to be up all night and that there are so many more to come. When Abi sleeps I find myself constantly peeking at her to make sure that she is breathing so I'm not REALLY sleeping. I am wondering if I have Post Pardum depression. I just really can't wait until she starts smiling and I can take her out. I have been cooped up in the house for almost 4 weeks and I have only been out a handful of times for less than two hours. So that could be why I am feeling so depressed.
I'm sorry to be talking like this. I am trying to stay positive but I just can't seem to. Natalie has really helped me though. We have been emailing back and forth and she is so helpful. It gives me hope to see that her baby is finally sleeping.
The positive...
I love Abi with all of my heart. She is so beautiful to me and I love her big eyes when she is awake. She started making small cooing noises that I love. I'm hope there is more to come soon. I stroke her hair all of the time and put her lips to my cheek. It is one of my favorite things. I love bath time and washing her soft skin. Babies are so cute naked. I love taking pictures of her. So far I have missed only one day since she was born. I love her smell especially after a bath. I love it when she looks at me when I have her propped up on my knees. There are so many thing that I love. This is actually helping me right now to be more positive.
Wow, this is quite the blog. I know this isn't the best blog but it is what I am feeling right now and I have to be honest. Thank you all for all of your support. Your advise is much needed.
5 comments:
Oh man...sounds like you have an Aubrey. She had colic, acid reflux, RSV a week after she was born and was hospitalized for a week, she cried all the time, NEVER slept and didn't sleep through the night for a while...I could go on and on with a list of craziness we experienced with Aubrey. I haven't forgotten how truly awful it was and for some reason I'm going to do it all again. But, I know all babies aren't the same so I'm hoping....but for now, these are some things that worked a little bit for us and Aubs:
swaddling, swings, white noise (we used that or static noise from a radio), pacifiers, bouncing with her in our arms, and I asked friends to watch her so I could get out by myself for a few minutes by myself. Call up those family members that are around. Man if I only had family near. Take a shower in the morning and get ready. It helped me feel better even when things really weren't. I'm so sorry you feel this way but I completely understand. Things will get better. If I think of anything else that helped, I'll let you know. Hang in there.
It's so terrible she has acid reflux! I'm so sorry! That's no fun at all.
When I get upset or overwhelmed, I put Cambria in a room and let myself calm down. Babies are very aware and sensitive to the mother's moods so I always go back in, tell her I'm sorry and give her lots of love. I believe she calms down easier when she feels my love for her. Get a babysitter (we can help if you need it), she can have formula once or twice and it won't affect her nursing.
I hope she gets better soon! Love you.
oh my sweet Tear! I well remember times when I thought I was such a terrible mother because I just couldnn't handle it any more. IT'S NORMAL! Just hang in there, it really WILL get better I promise.
Take Natalie up on her offer, call Cindee and ask her to stay over and stay up with her so you can sleep, call Candice, Ceryn' and even jeremy or Cody. You do have family near enough and they should help, so call! It really will pass soon and she will be at the stage of smiling and sleeping longer and being a sweeter little one to love. I know Matt helps as much as he can, perhaps he needs to take an extra day off and you get a sitter and the 2 of you go off for a day. that really would help. we love you so much and pray for you all the time, even put your names in the temple. Things will be better, I promise. With love gm
I typed a super long comment and there was an error and it was all lost. I'm going to email you instead so that it doesn't happen again. Hang in there. Love you. Sending you hugs.
Oh, the life of having a newborn. They can't tell you what is exactly wrong and it is so difficult to figure it out at times. If you ever need me to come up there some time and give you some time to go out, let me know. It definitely helps to have YOU time! Things will get better and things will finally seem worth it all! She is so precious! It was good to see you earlier!
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